U/B 10: The curse of the bored spring breaker

Words to remind you of the power of words

Here’s your weekly reminder to choose what serves you. What might be useful and beautiful for you today?

Hi! It’s spring break week and the kids are home.

Earlier, my 9-yo daughter stuck a post-it note message to my monitor telling me to TAKE A BREAK!

all caps penciled note TAKE A BREAK!

She’s bored and wants me to do something with her. It’s a constant parental dilemma:

• Spend time working to make money to provide for the kids

• Spend time with the kids

When I pause and think, I realize that the word “spend” may not be useful here. Spend implies that it costs me something, that I need to get value in return. And I cannot compare the value of work to the value of being with my kids.

So today I’m going to remember my commitments and let my kid’s words cast a spell on me. Rather than spend time (ha!) writing a new thing, I’m revisiting some past writing.

More on the power of words below.

Side note: This letter as written as advice, which is not how I usually write. I’m assuming you’ve given me permission because you’re reading. Thank you.

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Words are powerful

Everything you say (or write) has the potential to change someone. Including yourself.

Whenever possible, think before you speak.

When kids are learning what adults still need to learn

Words are magic

For God/nature/spirit/diety’s sake, don’t go casting curses all over the place!

Before you speak your opinion — especially if it’s about how you think someone should be or act — consider the potential harm or good. How might your words serve and help a person? Or make them insecure, afraid?

Read more in these two letters:

U/B 3: Learning to wield magic

U/B 4: Judgments shared are magic spells

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Pause when you say certain words

Below is my list of “pause words”.

When I think or hear myself say one of these words, I pause. I consider what stories I might be telling myself. Noticing these words helps me to respond instead of react.¹

• Should / shouldn’t

• Good / Bad

• Right / Wrong

• Can’t

• I know

• Just

• Try

• But

But daughter, I just need to get some work done today. I know I should get this letter out.

OH.

Thank you for the reminder to pause. To take a break and spend time with you.

Read more about pause words and how I’m leading myself here:

U/B 2: Six personal agreements to change my mind

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Let go of unhelpful nouns and adjectives

Words can keep us stuck in the past. But just because you were once a type of person — an overachiever, a loser, an introvert, a pragmatist, etc — doesn’t mean you are that noun today.

If labeling yourself as a noun isn’t useful (or beautiful), pick a verb instead. Ask yourself what action you could take.

Instead of But I am not a writer, try Today, I am going to write for 20 minutes.

But I’m a shy person may not be useful if you want to meet people. Try something like I will say hello to one new person at the event tonight.

Label yourself with intention. Who do you want to be right now? What would that version of you do?

Read more here:

What if I was a verb, not a noun?

Be impeccable with your word. - don Miguel Ruiz

Choose words that serve you

Thank you for choosing to read my words today. Your attention is a generous gift.

Love,

Kate

p.s. Like this letter? Help others get value from it, too. Please tap the heart, forward it, share on your socials.

p.p.s. Feeling stuck? I coach brilliant people who want to make serious progress in their lives. Send me a note if that sounds interesting.

Photo by Alexandra on Unsplash

1. One way I help my clients is by noticing when they use “pause words”, then dig into what limiting beliefs may be behind the words.