U/B 3: Learning to wield magic
I release you from unhelpful spells
Here’s your weekly reminder to return to useful and beautiful thoughts. Today’s letter is dedicated to my brother Jeff, my first paid subscriber and long-time Lord of the Rings fan.
Hi.
I have an idea to open your mind but it only works if you believe that words are magic.
It also helps if you’re familiar with Lord of the Rings.
Will you play along?
Cool. Let’s go.
Words are magic
You are under a spell. Many spells, actually.
The magic is language. The spells come from words.
The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic.
- don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements
Every judgment uttered or written is an incantation. Every opinion, piece of advice, or command, is a spell.
Parents, bosses, teachers, friends, spouses, politicians, celebrities, strangers, et al have all cast spells on you. Perhaps they wanted something. Or they were trying to protect you. Maybe they just have strong opinions about the right way to be a human.
Spells can be subtle or obvious. I like this one. You need to do it this way.
Accidental or intentional. Brush your hair so you look nice. Good girls don’t curse.
Benevolent or manipulative. I love you. If you loved me, you’d leave that asshole.
(These are imperfect examples lacking context. Please supplement with your own experience.)
Some spells are so ridiculous, they’re easy to deflect. I’m not concerned about those. What I worry about are the dangerous fear-based curses that disguise themselves as love.
How to break a curse
Curses are devastating spells that wreck your confidence, effectiveness, relationships, even your health.
It’s like you’re King Theoden in the Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. You’re under the evil spell of Saruman, the embodiment of a reactive, fear-based life. You cannot live intentionally (choosing your response based on your values and goals) when you are commanded by thoughts of fear and scarcity. That’s not appropriate. What if [terrible thing] happens? You can’t handle it.
Next to you is Wormtongue, pretending to be your friend but whispering lies in your ear. Those might be spells you’ve internalized from your childhood, family dynamics, company’s culture, social media, traditional media, any number of influences. This character is very convincing. They might even show up with proof. Here’s another example why that’s a bad idea. Can you imagine? How shameful!
You’ve tried to break the curse. Some days you feel strong. But then it comes back.
You need a powerful spell.
No ordinary wizard will do. You need someone who’s fought the Balrog and came back transformed. Who can sneak into your castle (or inbox) and cast their own benevolent spells.
Are you with me? Are you rolling your eyes?
Look, 2023 was my Balrog. Layoffs, job rejections, breast cancer. Lots of fear and scarcity. I may not be Gandalf-level awesome but I am transformed, more powerful and aware than I was a year ago. And I’m still on that journey (which is lifelong).
Living intentionally takes commitment. It’s why I started a writing practice. First the writing was for me. Now, it’s for you, too.
My words are spells. My intention is to release you from unhelpful beliefs. We’ll do it once a week. Because it takes practice.
Wielding words wisely
I’d like us all to be a little more aware of our own magic so we stop casting unhelpful spells on people. Author don Miguel Ruiz calls it “Being Impeccable with Your Word.” It’s the first of The Four Agreements1.
Because, as it turns out, you and I have been able to do magic this whole time. And we have been doing it. We just didn’t realize it. And that — going about our days unknowingly casting spells on people — is reckless.
I want to live an intentional life, choosing my thoughts and actions rather than reacting. I can help you do that, too.
Will you allow it?
Love,
Kate
p.s. If this post made you smile, would you share it with a friend?
p.p.s. Do you know anyone who might benefit from a weekly spell to release them from curses? Please share it.
One last thought…
Here’s an interesting concept I learned from author and magical human Byron Katie.
If someone on the other side of town insults you and you don’t know about it, are you hurt? Do you get upset? No. Ignorance is bliss. Knowing is what hurts you. It’s hearing the words and letting them affect you that hurts.
That’s pretty powerful stuff. That also means that you have more power than you realize. When someone casts a spell (says words), you don’t have to accept it. It takes practice, but it’s possible.
Ruiz, don Miguel. The Four Agreements. https://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements