U/B 8: Aim to serve, unless you're making art
Wait, is this art? Also, vibing in hammocks with Rick Rubin
Here’s your weekly reminder to return to what’s useful or beautiful. At least I hope? Read on for more…
Hi!
Thanks for your love. Radiation treatments are over, spring is springing, and my energy is coming back. Yay!
I’ve been thinking… From here on out, I’m going to write whatever the heck feels useful or beautiful to me without worrying too much about whether you’ll like it. Stick with me and I’ll explain.
For a while, I’ve wondered if I am designing or making art. Aiming to serve you or to express my perspective. They (the letters) could do both. But what is my intention?
I’m sharing my experiences, not from a place of telling you how to live (which is what many “influencers” do), but showing you what’s possible. I’m writing about what I’m learning — what I don’t know, rather than what I do — because I want you to see me doing it and maybe feel safer about not having to know it all. At least, that’s where I’m trying to get to — letting go of what I think I know, what I believe to be true, so I can expand my perspective.
This is hard for me on a few levels. For one, I like to know things. My ego relies on it, as does my business. Who hires a consultant who doesn’t know things?
It’s also pretty vulnerable. Making something that I love, then offering it to you. What if you reject it?
Seth Godin calls it: “Here. I made this.”
These four words carry generosity, intent, risk and intimacy with them.
The more we say them, and mean them, and deliver on them, the more art and connection we create.
And I guess that’s what I want. More art and connection.
I’ve spent my career designing experiences to please or serve other people (because capitalism) and it’s hard to turn that off. Add it to my list of things to unlearn.
Even the name of this endeavor — Useful / Beautiful — can trip me up. In my head, I’m like, Well damn. I’d better write something useful or beautiful. It’s a lot of pressure to guess what might serve you.
Each letter starts with Here’s your weekly reminder… I hope that’s the outcome — that you remember that you can choose more useful and beautiful thoughts. But I wonder if having that outcome in mind as I write is useful (or not) to me.
Earlier today I swayed in my hammock1 catching up on some podcasts including Andrew Huberman’s interview with music producer Rick Rubin. I’d seen snippets online of Rubin talking about how great art happens when you make what you are compelled to make, not what you think other people want.
Did I mention that I struggle with that in regards to these letters? Are they art or design? Am I making them for you or for me?
Here’s a bit from Rubin. (Edited for brevity)
The [creator’s] block is usually personal. I'm not good enough. It can be a confidence issue. I don't have anything to say. Or it could be thinking about someone else. Nobody's going to like what I make.
It's either a self-judgment or fear of outside judgment. If you're making something with a freedom of, this is something I'm making for myself for now, that's all it is. It's a diary entry. No one else can judge it. It is my experience of my life.
Everything we make can be that, can be a personal reflection of who we are in that moment of time. It doesn't have to be the greatest you could ever do. It doesn't have to have any expectation that it's going to change the world.
Later, he touches on why it’s not useful to focus on a desired outcome (if you’re making art").
We don't make these things for an outcome. It's not the mindset to make something great. You're making the best thing you can make. It's a devotional practice. That part that happens after it is completely out of your control.
Putting any energy into that part that's out of your control is a waste of time. All it does is undermine your work. Your work is to make the best thing you can.
I mean… that makes sense. There’s gobs of wisdom about focusing only on what you can control2. Still, people try to influence others all the time. It soothes the ego, especially if we think we’re serving them. It’s for your own good, dammit.
Rubin’s thoughts about the creative process are beautiful. What I’m not sure is if they’re useful to me when it comes to this work.
Well, what did I already promise you? I made some commitments 8 weeks ago when I announced Useful / Beautiful. I said I created it “to help you discard unhelpful beliefs”, yadda yadda yadda. That was a statement of intent, but not a commitment. I can’t promise that because helping you is outside of my control. I cannot help you unless you show up, do your part (read, reflect).
There were some commitments in there too. Things I can control. I committed to sending a new post about once a week, sharing stories and insights, and reminding you that you’re a divine brilliant being. (I’ve been slack on that one.)
So…
How might I serve you (because I do want to help) without putting too much emphasis on the idea that my work MUST serve you?
There’s a note on my desk that says “Don’t try to be clever. Be helpful.” Do I ignore that advice now? Not try to be helpful?
Maybe the point is that it’s not up to me to determine what you find useful or beautiful. All I can do is show up. Maybe the helpful part is the weekly publishing, not the writing itself.
Which reminds me…
When I chose the name Useful / Beautiful, I liked that you could benefit without even opening the letter. Just seeing the name in your inbox could be a reminder to Have nothing in your house (mind) that you do not know to be useful or believe to beautiful. So that’s something.
One last thing. I feel the need to clarify that this concept of “Don’t aim to serve” is only in regards to the words I put into these letters, not other areas of my life. It’s not all art and gifts. Though wouldn’t that be beautiful?
Love,
Kate
p.s. If this post made you smile, would you share it with a friend? Help me connect with the people who want my words but don’t know me yet.
p.p.s. I really wanted to write about serving vs pleasing but it just didn’t flow today. Expect it sometime in the future. I think it’s useful.
p.p.p.s. I still like to know what you find useful or beautiful. Tap that heart, leave a comment, reply to me, or share the work. Thank you.
No nap today. That was last week.
The internet has a gazillion quotes about focusing only on what you can control. The Serenity Prayer is among the most famous: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot. change, courage to change the things I can, and. wisdom to know the difference.