I'm right so why won't you listen to me?
Ways we try to influence people
Hi. I have a confession.
Sometimes I think that I am right.
I really try to be more curious than certain but sometimes I get so excited when I find something that works.
This time, I am certain that I have found the way. The answer. In fact, all these other people – experts – agree with me. See the authors, the research!
It has really helped me. I think you should give it a shot. You’re going to love it.
But I’m a little exhausted trying to get you to pay attention. You’re preoccupied with your own things. I don’t have enough status for you. You don’t really listen to me.
How might I influence you?
Oh! I didn’t tell you what it is. It’s a book. I think this book will change your life.
I’ve tried to command you. Do it. Read this book! But that doesn’t work. Your hackles go up when someone tells you what to do.
I could advise you. You should read this book.
I could lecture you. Here’s a list of reasons why this book is the right way.
I could shame you. Good people read this book.
I could make it about belonging. Our whole team is reading this book.
I could incentivize you. I’ll give you a reward if you read this book.
I could make it a competition. Whoever reads this book the fastest, wins.
I could make it easier for you to do it, remove barriers. Here is a copy of the book. I marked the interesting passages.
I could make it harder for you to not do it. I cut off your internet access so you can focus and read this book. (Any parents here?)
I could make it seem like it was your choice. Will you give me your opinion on these books? (It just happens that all but one look really dull.)
I could meet you where you are. That feeling you have right now? It could go away if you read this book.
I could lead by example. Check me out. I’m reading this book and I am successful. It is working for me.
What do you think? What did I miss? Which of these work? Which don’t? Which do you avoid?
Are you a leader, team member, parent, teacher, friend? How do you successfully persuade someone to take your view or try something new?
Let me know. I might expand this list for a future post.
Love,
Kate
p.s. Thank you for reading. It gives me energy to know someone is getting value from my words.