Here’s your weekly reminder to choose what serves you. What might be useful and beautiful for you today?
Hi!
Do any rewilding this week?
I took my own words to heart, specifically the bit about not worrying what other people think. At the risk of being weird in a professional setting, I changed my LinkedIn headline to:
Leadership coach, guide, and curse-breaker for corporate creative types.
It’s unconventional, but not random. The universe has been dropping hints that I’m a curse-breaker since 2015 when I found a dollar bill in a parking lot after a rowdy discussion with colleagues about how I help “break the Curse of Knowledge”.1 I wasn’t ready to embrace the title then. Now it’s nearly a decade later. I’m a mom, have been laid off a few times, had cancer, and faced various other trials. Plus, I passed the age of 40 when women are expected to transition from maiden to witch. So, voila. Curse-breaker.
What is a curse?
Merriam Webster2 describes a curse as:
a prayer or invocation for harm or injury to come upon one
a profane or obscene oath or word
something that is cursed or accursed
evil or misfortune that comes as if in response to imprecation or as retribution
a cause of great harm or misfortune
Ok. A little formal.
What does “curse” mean to me?
Curses are devastating spells that wreck your confidence, effectiveness, relationships, even your health.3
I wrote that a few weeks ago. Basically, curses are misfortunes, often caused by words.
On second thought, is “curse-breaker” going to be a word that causes me misfortune if I use it in a professional setting? Hmmm. I’ll take the risk.
I’m not entirely sure how this is relevant. We’ll see what happens.
What my kid says about curses
This letter wasn’t writing itself (funny how that rarely happens) and I needed inspiration. So this morning I sequestered 10 minutes with my 9-yo daughter and jotted down these notes. It’s mostly verbatim, I swear4.
Me: Tell me what you know about the concept of curses.
Kid: Well, the universe cursed me. And Brian5.
Me: Wait. What?
Kid: Every year, when I start a new grade, none of my friends from last year are there.6 And when I do something unexpected, the teachers always notice. But when I do what’s “expected” of me, they don’t notice.
Me: So, you’re telling me how you are cursed. That you’re upset. Can you tell me what a curse is? What that means?
Kid: Give me a second to find right words… Well, curses can be good or bad. It’s like a spell. It keeps following you. Maybe preventing you from doing something or getting access to something.
Me: What’s a spell?
Kid: Magic.
Me: Where’s it come from?
Kid: Anything. Most commonly, people think of witches, wizards. I think it’s the universe.
Me: Ah. Tell me more.
Kid: You know how we’re all made up of stardust? I think it’s the different stars we came from. Why we lead different lives. Different curses.
At this point, the conversation turns to Minecraft (not unusual), “H. E. double hockey sticks”, some guy named Scott, and “summoning” things which I learn is “usually drawing a circle, putting stuff around it, and saying weird words.”
Me: Have you ever summoned anything?
Kid: [laughs] No. I don’t even know what I’d summon. What if I did something random and accidentally summoned, like, a wither or something?
Me: What is “cursed earth”? I’ve heard you and your friends talking about that.
Kid: Cursed earth is one of the elements we made up. Normal earth is like nature, trees, plants. Cursed earth is dirt, stone, poisonous plants, aberrant plants. Spiky things. Succulents.
Me: Aberrant is a great word!7 So, it seems like the cursed earth element is nature that is dangerous to humans?
Kid: Yeah. My domain is the poisonous stuff.
Me: Oh. It’s your element? Interesting. I like that. Thank you for sharing with me. Can I write about this?
Kid: Of course! I love helping you.
Me too, kiddo. What a blessing (the opposite of a curse).
That’s it for this week.
Thank you for reading my words. Your attention is a gift.
Love,
Kate
p.s. Like this letter? Help others get value from it, too. Please tap the heart, forward it, share on your socials. Thank you.
p.p.s. If you’d like help with your identifying curses, send me a note. I coach brilliant people who want more out of life.
Words that cause misfortune
You may have seen this list before. They are my “pause words”. When I think or hear myself say one of these words, I pause. I consider what stories I might be telling, what spells I might be casting.
Should / shouldn’t
Good / Bad
Right / Wrong
Can’t
I know
Just
Try
But
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledge The curse of knowledge is about having more context than the people you need to communicate with. When we know things, it’s hard to remember what it’s like to not know. I help people recognize their curse and clarify their message.
Definition of curse https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/curse
“I swear.” A curse, right there.
There’s no more talk of Brian beyond this one mention. It’s very mysterious.
I literally just had dinner with a friend who’s a teacher who told me this is intentional to break up unhelpful cliques.
This vocabulary word is 100% because of video games.